HAHA! Talking to myself!

Wow, two posts in one day! How lucky am I? Well, it's just been one of those days today. I feel pretty much like I am talking to the wall. I'm not a person that really has alot of friends. Actually, I know alot of people, but I just haven't really had time for friends in my life. Its very rare that I actually have a friend that I hang out with. Most of my friends are people who's status I comment to on myspace or facebook and that is about the extent of our communication. I guess alot of people would call that sad, but I have been that way my entire life. I grew up an outcast, the white girl in a minority town. I didn't have many friends when I was young. And now as an adult it only comes natural to me to be a seclusionist. I guess I only write that just to say that writing for me is an outlet. I can't tell my husband (my best and one of my only friends) most of the stuff I write on here because I know he needs to keep his head in the game. I freak out on his every whim. If hes not online some days or doesn't really want to talk I totally freak out, but I can't let him know that.

So today we weren't able to talk, actually, because he is sick. Which I totally understand and I want him to rest. But I miss him so much and I miss being able to share my true feelings with him. I hate that I have to be the strong one when I want so desperately to cry on his shoulder and have him tell me everything will be alright. Right now the only little bit of sanity I still have is from exercising nightly, which also helps me hold it all together for my kids.

Well, I find out about nursing school tomorrow. So I better go to sleep so I can hurry up and find out if I made it or not!