OMG, As its getting closer to Ron's arrival I am gong completely nuts. I am anxious all the time and the only thing that makes it better is spending money! That is a BAD combination. I am usually not like this, I am the type of person that is usually very frugal and will put as much into savings as I can. I have gone through about $600 dollars of our savings in the last 2 weeks. So when I say that I am going crazy, I actually mean it. The hard part about it is that I have tried talking to Ron about it. I feel like if I could have a decent conversation with him I will feel more at ease, but lately he is so distracted and hard to talk too. I feel like right now our relationship is really fragile. Im sure that him coming will help alot, but I am worrying about what will happen when he leaves. What will happen in 3 months from now when he is not coming home and starts acting distant. There will be no R&R to make things right again. I worry if our strong pre-deployment relationship can really survive this. I feel like I can't even breath I am so scared about that. Part of my anxiety, I know is because I can not hear his voice on the phone, so every time we talk its monotone and dull. Like he doesn't care or something. I mean he says he cares but it just comes across as words that are always written at the end of each conversation we have. If he were really here or if I could hear his voice more often maybe I would know things are really okay. I also feel like its my fault, because the time that we were closest during this deployment he was talking to me about sex and fantasies almost ever second we talked. I got so tired of always hearing about that so I asked him to cut back on the sex talk.. Well, he cut back... he completely stoped talking about that and anything more then weather and how my day has been.
Oh, God, I don't know how this is going to end. But for now I am looking forward to Ron's return. Hopefully, things will be great when he is here and we can worry about what comes later... later.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment